““Mary!” Jesus said. She turned to him and cried out, “Rabboni!” (which is Hebrew for “Teacher”).”
John 20:16 NLT
My greatest need for God is in my bleakest moments. Yet, although I know that in calm times, when overwhelmed by difficult circumstances and inner depression, I am immediately disorientated. No matter where I turn, I fail to discern Christ. In those moments of disorientation I stagger as a drunk might, grasping at anything in the hope that I might seize control of my raw emotion and inner confusion. Here Mary Magdalene, one of Jesus’ most devoted followers, mentioned twelve times in the Gospels, more than most of the disciples, is in amazement and confusion. Where has her Lord been taken?
Greeted by Jesus, in her confusion she is unable to recognise him and assumes this is the gardener. It took Katey and me years to discover that God was at the heart of our struggles with MS and its consequences. We were thrashing about calling for deliverance from the disease when all along Jesus stood close by. In our anguish we were unable to discern him. Our panic was all-consuming, and blinded us to the promise that we had calmly accepted at the time of our conversion that Jesus would be with us always. Our problem was that the landscape had suddenly changed. We quickly, like Mary, assumed someone had robbed us of Jesus.
Many of us find that the wheels come off life at various points. The reality of our friendship with God is most seriously tested under such circumstances. We find our minds race, emotions boil over and our health may be compromised. Yet this Jesus reminds us that he has given us his peace, if only we can pause long enough to enter into it.
While I believed it was God’s job to remove all obstacles from my earthly passage, God’s intention was to take me at my word and treat me as a disciple, one who had freely chosen to learn the ways of God. It was tough, and it hurt. But, like Mary, I was surprised and delighted to discover God was true to his word; present in all circumstances. I simply needed to discern where God was.
Question – In bleak situations, where do you find God?
Prayer – Thank you, Lord, that you are faithful to your promises and to us.