I have been most fortunate in my ministry to have had a few very good clerical friends with whom I could be totally frank and open. One such died a few days ago.
Monsignor Tom Toner was the Administrator of St Peter’s Cathedral in Belfast when I came to St Anne’s Cathedral. Tom together with my predecessor, Dean Jack Shearer, had established the Belfast Cathedrals’ Partnership.
Tom and I were not meeting as strangers. Due to our shared interest in education in the city we already knew each other. His gentleness, spirituality and his delightful sense of humour made for great company and he became for me a companion with whom I could share my hopes and fears in the secure knowledge that these confidences would be totally respected.
In the public, social, aspect of our ministries and without any discussion about it, we attempted to be present together at any professional, social or civic occasion to which we were invited. A good number of these engagements were annual dinners such as the Institute of Bankers, or Logistics and the Junior Chamber of Commerce. Regardless of the party political allegiance of The Lord Mayor of the city, we were present at civic dinners and engagements and identified together. Almost without a word being spoke between us we were in agreement that in a city allegedly riven by denominational sectarianism, our presence together could be a symbol of mutual respect between our traditions and hopefully also be an encouragement to those who were working for and aspiring to mutual respect in the wider community. Although we got to that strategy with few words being exchanged about it, we joked about being ‘ecumenical bookends’ in that usually we were placed at opposite ends of the banquet tables.
In regard to participation in the worship of each others cathedrals we tended to assume that one would do whatever he was asked to by the other. This resulted in one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received in my ministry. It came after Tom and the priests in the presbytery had lived through hell upon earth for a considerable time. Ironically this torture was when St Peter’s had to undergo one of the most major renovations of any church building I have ever seen. It was to the extent that fork lift trucks were being operated in the cathedral to which the presbytery was adjoined. The disruption and the noise were beyond horrendous. It took well over a year for this major project to be concluded and I believe Tom is one of very few people who could have put up with the daily disruption, supervise the programme on behalf of the church, and continue to provide pastoral care for his large parochial community.
At last the work was finished and the service of re-hallowing was arranged. Tom said quietly to me, “You’ll be along and there is a wee thing I want you to do”. I didn’t ask what would be involved. We would not wrong foot each other! It was as simple as that between us.
This most important service in the life of the cathedral and the diocese commenced. After the bishop had consecrated the new altar, two parishioners appeared before their Monsignor and myself. They were carrying a large cauldron of water. Together Monsignor Tom and I processed behind them until we came down the aise to the new font where baptisms would be held from that night forward into the future. Together my friend and I poured the water into the font and together led the capacity congregation in prayer. I know of no other cathedral anywhere in the world where such a joint act of Christian hospitality and witness has been so performed. I regard this as the most breath-taking occasion in my ministry.
There are differences between our two churches but on one major area we are agreed. It is in our mutual respect of our baptism into the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
In my grief that I have lost an absolutely irreplaceable colleague, friend and fellow Christian pilgrim, my only consolation is that through death, Monsignor Tom’s baptism has been fulfilled and now he stands amongst those in the inner presence of our God, due to his belief in the salvation through love which God provides to all his people – those who have been signed with the sign of the cross. The cross is the ultimate symbol of God’s love for each and everyone of us, and the greatest expression of faith, friendship and identity.
Houston McKelvey
First published in The Newsletter